Pulling The Weeds

Being an observer of human behavior for a living is equally rewarding and exhausting. Why? The reward comes from repeatedly seeing the triumph in our human spirit after tragedy, and from observing families and friends sharing love and growth together. The exhaustion comes from repeatedly seeing

the human ego sabotage human decency or fracture relationships, and from seeing fear cripple

the confidence or joy that should be the essence of our human experience.

Pulling the Weeds.

In order to grasp the full picture, it feels useful to first examine what behaviors do not fulfill us.

If we can understand what the opposite of fulfillment is, then the path to fulfillment comes a bit

more clear. By no means is this list comprehensive, but it includes a vast array of what it looks

like when insecurities and disillusioned thought patterns make an appearance.

Stagnant

Unaccountable

Angry

Pessimistic

Fixed mindset/stubborn

Arrogant

Fragile

Physically unhealthy

Insecure

Unreliable

Manipulative

Controlling

Irritable

Rude

Obnoxious

Self-absorbed

Dishonest

Hypersensitive

Irrational

Don’t take ownership

Afraid of commitment

Bland

Don’t trust self

Dream but don’t do anything

Complain

Too idealistic/perfect

Jealous

Selfish

Egocentric

Lazy

Scared

Insensitive

Emotionally closed off

Skeptical

Seeks conflict

Frantic

Mentally weak/give up easily

Immoral/inhumane

Obsessive

Lack direction

People-pleaser

Greedy

Destructive

Rigid

Undoubtedly, there are a more traits or behaviors not mentioned on this list. However, all of

these qualities are things we tend to get annoyed with others for. Why? Because they tend to

detract from fulfillment. They tend to go against the grain our zest for life. Just to be clear,

nobody is perfect. We all, at times, may exhibit any of these qualities. Nonetheless,

moderation prevails. We can overcome these qualities fairly easily if we exhibit many other

fulfilling thoughts and behaviors that outweigh the negativity. Put differently, we only have so

much time and energy to exert. Think of your resources as a bottle of water. You have two

glasses to pour the water into; the fulfilling glass and the unfulfilling glass. If we pour too much

water into the unfulfilling glass, we don’t have enough left for the positive glass. Furthermore,

whichever glass we pour the water into becomes our reality. The glass we pour into becomes

the source of energy on which we draw from. This is the whole idea of perception becoming

reality. What we think, we become.

Planting the Seeds.

Now that we’ve illuminated the qualities and behaviors that we should limit, let’s look at the

qualities and behaviors we should try exuding more often. To be clear, I’m not perfect.

Nobody has it all figured out. Yet, we are able to look at the trends of people who are fulfilled.

We are able to paint a broad picture of what it’s like to live a fulfilling life. I’m currently writing

a book on the subject and here is the recipe I’ve come up with so far:

To be fulfilled in life, it helps to:

1. Be able to enjoy things. Personal success, the success of others, simple pleasures, and

experiences. Let’s not kid ourselves… life was meant to be enjoyed.

2. Leave an impact. Humans love to feel important. There is no more fulfilling way to feel

important than to live with the purpose of making the world a better place.

3. Have a strong moral compass. In a broad sense, high standards for yourself and others.

More importantly, accountability to those standards.

4. Continually seek growth. When we become stagnant, we start to decay. Decay smells

bad.

5. Be adaptable. Rigidity creates tension and fragility. We have to be able to move

dynamically and “adjust to the off-speed pitch” in order to overcome challenges.

Once again, it’s important to note that the recipe for a fulfilling life may differ from person to

person. However, these 5 core pillars seem to be universally fulfilling. From these 5 core pillars

flows an immeasurable amount of other good qualities such as love, discipline, humility, joy,

honor, courage, gratitude, and hope – among others. We could have a “chicken or the egg”

discussion regarding each of these pillars; even so, the 5 core pillars are designed around

action. It’s been said before that it is harder to think our way into action than it is to act our

way into thinking. The two certainly feed off one another, but action is usually easier to

implement. Thinking tends to get complicated and/or cloud our vision. Thinking can lead to

being overwhelmed; it begs questions we don’t have answers to. Alas, one of my favorite

anonymous quotes that pulled me out of the biggest rut of my life: “Imperfect action is better

than perfect inaction.” To that affect, no one ever lived a fulfilling life by being paralyzed with

indecision. Life is not about being perfect. Life is meant to be lived, not just thought about.

We give it our best shot, we learn from our mistakes, and we try it again. Within that

framework is so much room to enjoy the ride, live our purpose, stick to our morals, grow the

best version of ourselves, and roll with the punches.

As we find ourselves chugging along in our day-to-day lives, we can forget to pick our head up

and look at the big picture. Hopefully, these senseless tragedies over the past couple of months

have allowed us the capacity to examine our lives. I’ll be darned if the world isn’t a better place

after all of this adversity. Why? Because each adversity is an opportunity to grow.

My friends, let’s grow.

- Austin Hanson 

MindStrong's Mental Performance Coach