Goals & Resolutions

We’ve all either been that person or know that person who always talks about how they’re

going to change after x, y, or z. We can all sympathize with that person. It’s even sort of

exciting to think about the prospect of changing in the future. In fact, that very idea is why New

Year’s Resolutions fail. Using a date (Jan. 1) as a means for changing is safe. It’s some idea in

the future that allows us to justify our behaviors in the present. Waiting until New Year’s Day is

our way of feeling safe. It’s in the future, where performance doesn’t happen. Performance

happens in the present. People make changes when THEY are ready, not when the calendar

tells them to. So, we give the new diet plan the old college try until a lack of discipline wears us

down and the diet isn’t providing the results we want fast enough. Time does not positively

change people. The calendar does not positively change people. Intentional choice positively

changes people. Discipline positively changes people (see Jocko Willink). “New Year, New Me”

only happens when New Me happens first. Discipline must precede habit change or habit

development. If not, the discomfort of venturing into the unknown and the uncertainty of

getting the desired result will prove to be too much. Habit change is uncomfortable. It can be

scary to let old habits die or to venture into the unknown of a new habit. What if I put in all this

work and it doesn’t pan out? Or worse, what if I put in all this work and FAIL? So how do we

build discipline?

Trust the Process

As outlined above, the reason habit changing doesn’t come easy is usually because our own

discomfort and/or uncertainty make us crave the comfort of our old habits. Old habits are

easy. The pathways of old habits in our brains are paved with dopamine and false promises.

That is where discipline comes in. Discipline is be able to make the right choice when the right

choice isn’t as easy. As we know though, it’s not easy. If it was, everyone would be disciplined.

Think of behavior development like a plant. Discipline is the seed, which must be fed and

nourished in order to grow. Discipline doesn’t grow overnight, which is why deciding to work

out 4 times a week after not working out for 6 months usually doesn’t work. The foundation

isn’t there to support the new plant. We must start small, just as the beautiful tree starts as a

seed. We nourish the roots with water and food, and slowly the roots grow – and provide more

fruit. Finally, after months and months of consistently making small strides of growth, the roots

are strong and resilient. The roots are even capable of withstanding storms and draughts. But

remember, it all started as just a seed.

Goals and Tools

Here are some of the ways to feed and nourish your seed of discipline. While I believe all of

these tools are valuable, I also believe these tools are not the whole story of discipline. Rather,

I believe these tools help you get on your feet as your start the process of behavior change.

Sometimes, starting can be the hardest part – or getting through the first couple of weeks.

Allow yourself to use these while the roots of your behavior change are just a seed. Allow

yourself to be empowered by the small bits of progress and discipline you see, no matter how

small.

Why – Develop a reason beyond something superficial that motivates you to push through the

difficult moments; your “Why”.

Do it with a partner or group – Having people to hold you accountable will allow you to have

support to lean on when things get tough; remember, your roots may not have the support

they need to stand alone. Not to mention, going through struggle together has a way of

bringing people closer together.

Plan – This particular tool could be an article in itself. Discipline may be the seed, but a plan or

process is one of the biggest roots of a your behavior change plant. Otherwise, our behavior

change is just words. We have to have a detailed, specific plan for how are going to execute

the plan – a recipe. For example, if I want to start a new workout plan I need to identify what

exactly will help get me in the gym, what barriers will keep me from being consistent, and

prepare me for what to do when things go wrong. The more I can create a plan in advance, the

less I have to think. The less I have to think, the more I can be in the present. The more I can

be in the present, the more I can perform. Allow yourself the freedom to perform.

SMART Goals – Research suggests your goals should be S.M.A.R.T. Specific, Measurable,

Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound. For example: “I want to be more clutch” is not a SMART

Goal. Here is how we can make it SMART: Specific: I want to increase my Quality At-Bat

percentage with runners on base by 15 percent this season. Measurable- Yes, I can look at the

numbers to see if I achieved the goal. Achievable- Yes, it is within my power/control to

accomplish that goal, and it is an attainable goal. Relevant- Yes, the goal is relevant to my

success as a baseball player/development. Time-bound- Yes, the goal is for the upcoming

season.

Mini Goals – My good friend who shares the same joy for personal growth as I do told me a few

months ago of his disdain towards New Year’s Resolutions. He said instead, he has instituted

monthly resolutions. For example, in September he had no added sugar. In November, no

caffeine (he loves coffee). In December, reduced screen time on his phone. These little

monthly fasts are awesome for a couple of reasons. 1) He daily flexes his discipline muscle by

avoiding an unnecessary pleasure 2) He still gets to enjoy these simple pleasures and appreciate

them that much more 11 out of 12 months a year in moderation 3) He monthly improves a

certain aspect of his life, which results in a slightly all-around healthier person 12 months later.

I’ve since jumped on the train and do monthly fasts of my own. Giving up sugar completely

(New Year’s Resolution) sounds daunting, but a month seems so much more manageable. You

could even do these weekly. Feel free to reach out for ideas!

Care Less – Be sure to know that your story is yours and yours alone. Thus, think about what

you really want out of life. If you want that, it requires you to care less about all the other stuff.

It requires you to care less about what other people think. It requires you to care less about

the embarrassment of failure. Those who care less about those things, often care MORE about

making a difference in the world. So by caring less about the stuff that doesn’t matter, we are

free to care more about what we really want. Ponder it.

To conclude, I want to make it clear that behavior change happens from within. Gimmicks and

tricks and tools may help produce a specific, temporary result, but most behavior change

happens as a result of self-discovery and humility. As you think about the direction of your life

– as you think about 2020, remember that the more ownership you take of your own choices,

the more power you give yourself. The more you blame external things and make excuses, the

less power you give yourself. As the author of your own story, I hope you make it a good one.

- Austin Hanson 

MindStrong's Mental Performance Coach